Happy Mothers Day!!!

I have always wanted to be a mom, ever since I could remember. I was often found carrying around my cabbage patch doll pretending she was my very own child. I remember when my younger brother was born I was 10 and thought it was so much fun to have a baby around...until I had to change the diaper. As I watched my mom, I thought..."This can't be that hard." 

Fast forward to 19 years later...now a mom of 2..."This is THAT hard." Being a mom is the toughest job in the world. It has changed my life in so many ways. I am constantly worrying about both of my kids, praying to God each day that they do not get hurt or seriously ill. I always assume the worst, and when one of them gets hurt or sick, I become an emotional mess. At one time, my life seemed so important, but in an instant it seemed to decrease in value. I would give my life up in a minute to save one of my kids. But then I pray to God for many years to come, not to reach my dreams and goals, but to watch my children accomplish theirs. My two caesarian scars are not scars anymore, they have become badges of honor. 

The relationship that I had with Nate has forever changed as well. Instead of the all those little romantic things that made me love him, it's the unromantic things that mean so much. It's when I watch him playing with the kids or when he does not even hesitate changing a dirty diaper for the 3rd time in one day just so I don't have too. It's when he says he'll give the kids a bath and get them ready for bed so I can rest. I love that he makes sure their food is cut up and they are eating before he begins his own meal. I fall in love with him over and over again everyday and thank God for the man and father he is. 

I love the exhilaration I felt when I saw Blake writing his name for the first time, or when Mckenna learned to walk. Its capturing that big belly laugh when you're having a tickle war in the living room. I love having ongoing talks with Blake about nothing, just him giving me pointless details about everything. I love that when I go to pick up my kids from daycare, they are excited to see me. I love the smell of lavender on my kids after their bath time each night. 

My life seems to run in circles, I finally get one thing figured out, and something else comes up. We rush each morning just to be on time to work, we always forget something at home and have to turn back for it. I often feel like I have lost my mind and wonder if it will ever return. But then I stop and look in the review mirror at the smiling faces in the back seat and can't help but grin. 

As a child, I never expected to feel this much love for my own two kids. Loving each of them in a different way. I never expected being a mom would wear me out some days, I never expected to worry about my kids so much. I never expected to eat so many cold dinners. I never expected to lie awake at night and worry about them while they sleep. I never expected to do so many loads of laundry a week. Would I trade any of it? Not for all the money in the world. I have two of the best kids and thank God for allowing me to be their mom during their time here on earth. I am thankful that He has entrusted me with these two miracles of His. 

This day is not only about me. I must say HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to two other important women in my life. First my mom, who I miss so much it hurts. She is strong, patient and forgiving. She always seemed to know the right answer as I was growing up. Drove me crazy. She was so good at so many things, coloring, cooking, laundry..etc. I wanted to be just like her when I grew up. So I am pretty good at coloring and laundry but cooking...not sure what happened there. I know that I can count on her when I need prayer. She would be here in a second if I needed help and I am forever grateful for that. I am so thankful that God gave me such a wonderful example of how to be a good mom. Thanks Mom, I love you so much. 

Now to my mother-in-law...I can not express what she means to me. She is the best mother-in-law one could ask for. She is so much fun to be around and can make you feel better on your worst day. She is always so positive and can see the bright side when I see the worst. She is a great listener too. I can not tell you how many times I have sat in her kitchen and chatted for hours on end while she just listened. She makes the best veggie pizza I have ever had...haha!! The best thing about her though is...she is the Mom to the man I love. I thank God for her and the son she raised. 

I would not be the person I am today if it were not for either of these two women. They both play an important part in my life. I miss them both so much and look forward to our visits.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY MOM(s)!!!